Case Study #3 - David Building Legos

"David Building Legos" 30 x 24 oil on canvas

The third portrait in oil that I want to tackle is of David Oosterloo. David graciously allowed me to use his image in my first NF explorations during the first half of 2012. Now that I have settled on a theme of oil portraits of NF individuals just doing what they enjoy doing as a series, it seems only appropriate to use the man who has helped and inspired me throughout the entire journey.

2-18-13 NOT DONE, but much further along.
Still working on David's hands and all those Lego pieces.

Because David lives in the Netherlands, I can't really direct a photo shoot in person very easily. Luckily, his mom offered to take pictures of him building his Legos. Why building Legos? Honestly, I like when people have hobbies and/or collect interesting items. To me, it makes them seem more interesting. It also could be because I collect comic books and love to draw that I can appreciate someone else who has the same affinity toward his or her collections and interests. I believe the initial reason I was drawn to Frank earlier was that I enjoyed seeing him post about playing his guitar on FB. Additionally, I have enjoyed seeing David's Lego creations via Facebook as he will post them once he finishes a building in a series. Oftentimes it is these pastimes that help shape a person's personality or character.

My painting is not this dark.
Just painting plaid for now and
will get the rest figured out later.
1-29-13

I also thought painting Legos would be extremely difficult to pull off well, so why not give myself that challenge? Frank's guitar was very difficult, so now I can navigate painting intricate Lego pieces. Why not!? Now, even though I prefer a less detailed type of painting I still need to do a an underpainting/lay in drawing to get everything where I want it. I suppose if I had David here modeling for me, I could try to paint from life, but when an artist cannot paint from life, she does the next best thing. She uses photography to inform her work.

30" x 24" (lay in stage) 1-25-13

In fact, the entire premise of this body of NF portraits is drawn upon using photos taken and given to me by people I have never met before (all via Facebook). So, on one level, they are already mediating how they will be represented by what type of photos they send to me. They are making choices about how they want to be portrayed. Secondly, I as the artist, am making more decisions about which photos I will use and then thirdly how I will alter them. In some sense, this project goes through so many mediations that someone could questions authenticity of the portrait. But, then again, all painted portraits are subject to that argument since it is always the artist's interpretation of the sitter and how she wants to portray the person to the audience. While I am not purposefully channeling my inner Cindy Sherman and trying to question authenticity of portraiture, I'm sure to some degree one could argue it.

For now, I am just going to do my best to show the person first and foremost and if someone should notice that they have tumors on their face, then let their genetic disorder be of secondary cognition.

Case Study #2 - Frank Playing Guitar

"Frank Playing Guitar" oil on canvas 30"h x 24"w

An alla prima guitar?
I don't think so. I have to lay this one in first.

I am trying to work on two bodies of work concurrently. I have the large plywood with the canvas ready to go. I am just at a roadblock as to what to paint on it with perhaps too many ideas running through my head. So, while I ruminate about the large canvas painting, I thought it would be a good time to get back to work on my NF Tribute portraits. I have been in contact with Frank Moore about painting his portrait for a couple of months now. I met him on Facebook just like Reggie. Even though Frank has had his leg amputated from NF complications, that doesn't seem to stop him from getting outdoors and hiking. He also enjoys heavy metal music and playing guitar. He seemed like the perfect candidate for my next painting.

Frank, like Reggie, does not live anywhere near me. Reggie lives in Houston, TX and Frank Moore lives in Clifton, Colorado. So, this time I had to ask him the favor of asking a friend to take pictures of him playing guitar. Frank was happy to help. The first images he sent were of him playing guitar but the flash had completely wiped out any color differences or subtleties on his face. I asked him to set up a photo shoot with a friend and go outside and make sure the sun hit one side of his face while he played guitar. It is kind of strange to art direct a photo shoot via FB messages, but he and his friend did a great job and got me some really good photos to work from. I settled on one that showed most of his torso while he played guitar.

10 - 15-12 -
I had to do a grisaille under painting in order to
get the guitar and folds of the t-shirt to make sense

Because of NF, his arm has many tumors. Interestingly, Frank has a full tattoo on both his forearm and upper arm regions that seem to compliment the tumors as the drawings on his skin will wrap around the tumors. Whether that was intentional or accidental the end result looks very cool.

Originally I had thought it might be interesting to paint Frank doing something that showed his truncated leg and how he is able to adapt just fine with his prosthetic leg, but then it occurred to me that maybe he doesn't really feel like his ambulatory differences are all that important in the entire make up of his personality. So, I chose to just forego that idea in the thought that it might even seem exploitative of NF in general. And, by this point, everyone should know that is not my intent at all.

First lay in of color
"Frank Playing Guitar" - 24"x 30"h oil on canvas

I still need to go back and rework the Reggie Sipping Coffee painting as well since both my last mentor and current mentor thought I could improve the background on it. My advisor, Peter, had thought of coming up with a bit of text to accompany the paintings. Something that would explain who these people are when the viewer looks at them. So, I plan on getting something in writing from both Reggie and Frank when the time gets closer to displaying these paintings. I like that idea a lot as it gives the viewer an inside look into the personalities of the individuals portrayed. My advisor also said something to the affect of: Try to imagine what the exhibition would look like under ideal conditions. Ideally, I would have 17 of these portraits painted. Chromosome 17 is responsible for NF1. If I painted anyone with NF2 that is located on chromosome 22. I will concentrate on people with NF1 for now.

Frank getting his picture taken at the hospital

I also like painting adults with NF. Truthfully, in 2005 with the National Neurofibromatosis Foundation changed its name to the Children's Tumor Foundation it left many people with NF feeling isolated. I understand why the organization did that. It really is much easier to fundraise for kids with tumors than for 30+ year old people with tumors and in the end, we just need to find a cure. I happen to love this charity because they have done so much to raise awareness and help fund scientists to do clinical research. So, if it takes people seeing babies with tumors to donate, fine by me. But, it's never been completely fine with me for the adults with NF to think that suddenly no one cares about them any more. So, these portraits will all be adults with NF1.

Waiting

Well, once again I am working on a very large canvas. This time, I can say that I already like my idea and start to this one better. In fact, I think I will leave most of the gown just the gesso. If you look below you can see it was much longer initially and then I cut off about 2.5 feet in width. I decided to have the text be reversed out and in my own handwriting. All the thoughts that go through my head while I "wait". Probably the same thoughts that go through any parents head. It doesn't really matter what your child is going in for, you are worried and you wonder why. Why my son? On the other hand, I would never want it to be someone else's son either. I simply don't want it to exist. I digress. Formally speaking, I rather like the idea that the gown is still just gesso with only hints of oil paint on it and mostly charcoal drawing (which doesn't show up well in my photos).

"Waiting" oil and charcoal on canvas. 48"h x 52"w 

Earlier I had thought about incorporating the text on the forms that the parent always has to fill out while waiting for the doctor to come in. I sometimes think they just give us forms to keep us busy and to not notice how long we are waiting after our scheduled time. I think they then secretly shred them later or put them into a folder that will then get misplaced.

Initial Drawing - "Waiting" 4 foot high by 7 foot wide.
oil on canvas. As of November 27, 2012

As parents, we like to fill out forms because it makes us think we actually have control over our child's health care. Like most parents, I sit there calculating in my head what the cost should end up being depending on what our insurance covers. I also sketch all the time. I have done many drawings of waiting rooms. You can see them displayed at doctor's offices all around the Omaha area. They doctors love them and just hang them up in miscellaneous areas.

Often times I offer to draw a caricature in leu of paying the co-pay. The receptionists always laugh, but by now they know I am serious. So, if nothing else, I at least ask them to hire me for their company parties to help offset the copious co-pays. AND...drumroll please...That seems to always be a winner!

Ta - Dah! Who says you can't pay for your healthcare via art?

I'll trade you one surgery for 3 still lifes! haha....

Well...all kidding aside...right now I am "waiting" for my youngest son to get over the flu so I can continue to paint on this canvas.

Welcome to the Forum

24"h x 30"w marker and oil on canvas

I am part of an NF Forum on Facebook. People post their struggles and hardships dealing with a life of NF or being the parent of a child with NF. After awhile the posts start to blur, I forget whose child had what wrong with them, or which person is going to what doctor. Somebody is getting their leg amputated, someone's child has learning difficulties, someone has to pick between becoming deaf or dying, etc. It can be inundating, overwhelming and it never stops. It just keeps going on forever as people keep posting. The posts themselves look like a blur in my newsfeed. Sometimes I don't even look at the forum because I don't want to read about all the horrible manifestations about NF or whose tumor suddenly turned malignant. This week I discovered that one of the kids on my list of portraits to paint for my Many Faces of NF project is dying. I never painted his portrait because I have 15 people in front of him to paint. I felt terrible and now I feel like I should let some time pass for his mother to grieve because it would be in poor taste to start asking her questions about her son while he is on his deathbed. No, I can't imagine it nor do I pretend to know what that is like. It would be insulting for me to even pretend that I can comprehend that. I will now have to paint his portrait as a NF Memorial many many months from now. It's hard. It's just very hard.

Zoomed in so you can read the text

How does this relate to my artwork? I have been thinking about text a lot as it is incorporated with imagery. My advisor told me to look at the work of Sean Landers. I like his technique even though I am not all that interested in most of his images. I read many articles about them and I rather enjoy what he is doing and he seems extremely fascinating, but in the end, I still do not find his actual images to be ones that personally engage me. I should qualify a bit further that I think I enjoy his process more than I enjoy his final product. I think this is actually fairly common for me in art. Oftentimes it is the process or technique that is appealing even if the end result isn't what grabbed my attention.

So, in the spirit of borrowing, I decided to log into the forum and start meticulously copying all of the posts in the NF Forum (leaving out the authors). The forum on FB is completely open and public which means anyone can read these posts. Once someone posts in it, they know that anyone, including people not in this group, can read what they have written. This key element also gave me the sense that if people were comfortable posting these items, then they expect the world to read them. If it would have been a private group, I would have not used the posts.

So, up close you can read each text, but as you stand away from it, it all just looks like a blur of lines. This is really no different than the postings. They blur, I forget and sometimes I don't want to read them anyways.

Another zoomed in shot of the text.

The Combination of Two Ideas

22" x 28" oil on board

22" x 28" oil on board. +  Orange Head Study

Over a decade ago, I painted a still life with objects given to me while being apart of an art club. It was a fun idea and it got all of us painting the same items, but with our own interpretations. At the end, we had a group show and everyone could see the other artist's creations and arrangements of the still life objects. The show was called "Still Life in Motion". I did the following painting for it.

22" x  28" oil on board. Completed 2000

I enjoyed being apart of the show as it really got me excited about painting and gave me some creative parameters to work within. I also met some other artists. As an art teacher, I love these sorts of show ideas and projects because it gets me thinking and creating. The results are typically not quite as important to me as the process.

Many years later a friend asked me if she could hang it in her church's library. I gave it to her and quickly forgot about it for over a decade.

About 6 months ago, my brother said "Oh, I have a painting for you." I was genuinely interested because I had no idea what he could be referring to. Here comes this painting back into my life again. Apparently there were church renovations going on and the painting no longer had a home. My friend told my brother that she was worried that it might get damaged and wanted to make sure I got it back safely. That is very kind. But when I looked at it now, I thought "YIKES...this is really bad!"

I was just hoping people wouldn't mind the candelabra being uncomfortably cut right down the candle or perhaps that ellipses didn't really have to be painted convincingly. I was also unimpressed with my drapery which was a silky cloth that I just painted so opaquely that it looks more like a heavy bedspread. The candles were not lit because my husband wasn't so sure that I might not burn down the house since I tend to get distracted fairly easily.

I realized that it was time for this painting to go, but why would I want to burden a Goodwill with it? So, I took out my painting exercise from awhile ago: The man with the orange background.

16" x 20" color study

So, what would happen if I merged the background of a still life from my former painting life with the explorations of portraiture that I am currently interested in? Wouldn't that be the same as creating interesting texture in the background? Notice the color study has no interesting texture, although it has better brush handling.

Honestly, the first mark is the hardest. I had to take that still life out of the frame, clean it off, etc. Then I took an enormous amount of cadmium red light mixed with cadmium orange medium and started blocking out the head.

Then there is that moment when I realized that I had completely ruined the 'finished' painting. Now, since I hated it anyways, it started to become fun to get rid of those lame grapes. It was very difficult to paint a portrait over a dark still life without gessoing any of it. But I just kept at it.

Well...after much time and much cadmium orange....you can see the results.

Final Portrait - My studio assistant, Fred

May 25, 2012 - Finished one final portrait before flying off to Boston next month.

"Time Out" oil on canvas - 24"H x 18"W

The subject of the painting comes per a quote from my advisor:

"richard brilliant (my old professor at columbia) is an excellent resource for you on portraiture. and, as you're discovering, it's a hugely compelling topic in painting today.as i'm writing this i'm hoping you're experimenting with all kinds of portraiture--the husband, the kids, the family, the friends, the denizens of nebraska. don't limit yourself to one theme."

This semester, I have painted my son Henry, I have painted Reggie Bibbs and David Oosterloo (both of whom I met on FB through the different Neurofibromatosis forums located there) and I have painted my friend, Littleton Alston. My final portrait this semester is going to be of my youngest son, Fred.

There are many reasons to pick him. The first is the most obvious quote from the sitter himself, "Why did you paint Henry and not me?" The second reason is that I've watched him grow up too quickly before my eyes this semester. We have spent so much time together and next fall he will be in kindergarten. So, I am losing my wonderful studio assistant. The third reason is that I snapped this picture of him when he was in time out. I can't remember what he did to get in trouble now, but I do remember him saying "It's hard to always be good ALL the time, when you are only a little boy, Mama!"

Okay, that is probably true. However, I find that Fred is a "little boy" only when it comes to punishment, but a "big boy" when it comes to getting rewards, staying up late and other things he seems to believe are denied to him but not to his older brother, Henry. Ahh...I was also the youngest...I remember the unfairness of it all! hahaha....my older siblings would most likely rebuke that claim!

Here it goes:

Charcoal lay in drawing of Fred by the window

Underpainting / Slight color washes

1st pass of color work - nope, not finished

A portrait of my friend, Littleton Alston

Littleton Alston, oil on canvas, 30" x 24"

Now..finally..here is my portrait of Littleton Alston. I have been influenced by Tony Ryder's painting method, Mary Beth Mackenzie's textural backgrounds and the brushwork of Gregory Manchess.

Here are the phases of the painting as it developed:

Charcoal lay in on toned canvas

Grisaille under painting - Payne's gray and white

Light wash-in of color, similar to a watercolor in paint consistency